by zee

As I’m typing this out, I’m sitting on the floor doing my pharmacognosy assignment wtf I hate bitter gourd while chatting with my friend on FB, my Chilli balanced delicately on the laptop fan on my pillow on the floor. I’m not 100% awake -__-; but I gotta finish my part of the assignment -__-;; last-minute worker *knock head

So this friend told me a good news about her so I feel happy for her :)


Sometimes when I miss myself I will look back at my old blog. There are lots of smiling photos and funny words and frustrations and memories. I don’t remember what I was being frustrated about, but I remember lots of singing and laughter and letters and running around. I also remember being happy during then. Maybe not everyday, but most of the days.

This was something I used to (?) believe in. Yummy desserts, hot tea, rain, sunshine, cats, dogs, books, music, piano, movies, silence, noise – anything could make me happy, and these happiness seems to last really long. As if it could go on and on till the end of time.

That would be nice.

I would love to have this feeling, or ability, back. Somehow, everything seems to be covered with a grey mesh. You see it, but the colours are a bit dull. Yes, I do feel happy when I get to eat yummy desserts/doing faces to cats/reading/listening to awesome music/watching fantastico movies but.

There is a reason why people bring cameras around. They want to capture moments that made them happy, not because happy moments are difficult to come by, but because people have a hard time remembering happy moments. It’s something I do it so often then.

I wonder why. Maybe I wonder too much. Maybe I shouldn’t think that much. Maybe I shouldn’t think at all. But I feel too little. Way, way, way too little. Serotonin where are you! I can’t be eating chocolates 24/7 to stimulate your production!

I wonder.