Das ist meschugge

by zee

Seriously if I don’t write this down I think I’ll go meschugge.

I’ve been thinking of negative stuff like 2 days. 48 hours is enough to kill me ok.

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This is actually the third time I’m editing this post. Not like there was much to edit, as I didn’t (couldn’t?) record down my thoughts. Too many of ’em, like cobweb, linking from one to another. They’re so thin and delicate and fibrous and in such an abundance that to clean them up is too tedious. Might as well just change a new brain. Brain transplant anyone?

I really hate thinking too much. If this section of my mind dominates I immediately switch to another person.

New person’s identity: Eez Niw Gnoet.

Traits:

  • Wears black/dark-coloured T-shrits (yes I/she wear/s my/her mood)
  • Really dark and gothic
  • Sometimes to the verge of being suicidal wtf
  • Hurts people’s feelings with harsh and blunt words or actions, probably break a few hearts here and there

Future plan: Probably be eating off someone’s face. Still planning.  Watch out yo.

This person looks like me sounds like me and is definitely me wtf. I don’t like her either :(

I’m not sure if this complicated mind is different from the ones I have occasionally. Thinking too much only brings down my mood and doesn’t give me any enlightenment whatsoever. God (errr, I really shouldn’t use this word…) knows what kinds of methods I’ve tried to lift up my mood and they don’t work.

Writing is cathartic to me. It’s as if whatever frustrations and pent-up emotions and problems that I have and can’t solve, if I write ’em down, the next day will be a happy day again :) It’s like magic/God, but better!

Errrrghh so I hope this will too. Tell me it’s just a killer combo of exam stress + PMS :(

Back to study. I don’t like writing blogs in public places lol.

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