I am incapable of thinking or feeling or expressing my wants/needs/thoughts (paradox much?). I feel dead. Very dead. Must be the heart attacks that I’ve gotten the past 2 months.
That said, I’ve been thinking a lot, about myself, work, human relationships, studies – and I can’t arrive to any conclusion. Sometimes I don’t need to arrive to any conclusion, for that matter. I just need someone to listen to my whining and rants and complaints and then I’ll feel strong and happy enough to face life with life. Else I’m pretty much dead, just like now.
Maybe I’m demanding too much. Maybe I say too little.
I don’t regret what I chose, but maybe I’m not strong enough, maybe I didn’t receive these all too well. I need time to think this through. (Ugh, think again?)