Belated 2012 review

by zee

I know this is a little late! But January was finals and I hadn’t had the time (and mood lol) after that to actually really look back into my 2012 until now.

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2012 was a very confusing year :S

#1
I didn’t travel :( Redang doesn’t count :(
My camera is still in the ICU since Redang wtf :'(

#2
I’m so incredibly glad I took German instead of someboringpharmacyelective in my 3rd semester! It made me so happy, even though I had to rush for practical sessions and miss meals.

#3
Worked as a tele-surveyer for a sub-con company. I was responsible for conducting surveys with NZers over the phone/computer. It was really interesting! First of all, I had to accustom myself with their accent and slangs, especially the elderlies, aborigines and others who live in the outskirts! Homaigawd it was so hard to understand in the beginning, it was so heavily accented that I was at the verge of giving up *flip table* Secondly, it was fun to sort of “meet” these people over the phone/computer, looking at the places they stay and understand more about their culture/country. (Google Earth and Wikipedia.) It’s an alternative way to travel! On top of that, some of the people I work with are really nice :) I can even go back to work whenever I want yay :)

#4
Bought my first lomo cam. I haven’t exactly used it because I’m confused with films and afraid of its flimsy structure :S

Fruit juice cam

I would really like to learn more on analogue cameras and lomography though! Glad to know of a friend who knows analogue photography well! Hopefully at the end of 2013 I will be able to understand more about analogue and get a real camera by then :)

#5
And can you believe that I actually did this wtf:

MyLDS 2013

MyLDS stands for Malaysia Leadership Development Seminar. It’s an annual national conference organised by local committees of AIESEC Malaysia for AIESECers in Malaysia to nurture their leadership skills and other soft skills. MyLDS 2013 was held in Universiti Malaya on 25th – 30th January 2013. I was the Organising Committee President (OCP) for the event, where me & my team of 8 or 10 worked endlessly from June 2012 to prepare for this conference.

Crazy 7-8 months. Sacrificed a frickin’ lot for this. Study time, play time, sleep time. I didn’t regret taking up this opposition; but it literally exhausted the whole of me. How did I end up like this? I always ask myself. Definitely not easy. I’ve learned so much, busted myths, created realities and illusions- all about myself. Never got hurt so many times in my life wtf. More about this in the future post.

But most importantly,

2012 was a year of pure confusion. I plunged deeper into the dark abyss day by day, as I continued my useless so-called philosophical thinking, thinking that this might solve all my questions. I was so confused about my self & identity; my present & future; my relationships with the people around me; and everything else on earth.

It didn’t occur to me suddenly, but the thought that I no longer knew who I am anymore, and what I live for. I didn’t even know where to begin searching.

When I wasn’t thinking, I was busy with going on with my life, ensuring my survival, acting busy. Basically I feel like this:

Zomg sho cuute <3

On the other hand he is sho cuute <3

Perhaps I’ve written all these things very often in the blog; yet I have never properly acknowledged them to myself that I am lost. I think, only with a proper recognition, that I can finally proceed with the next step.

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Aside from browsing FB and Twitter tonight, I watched Harlem Shake (dafuq?!) on YT, read FB after death, knew that meteorite hit Russia, planned an outing tomorrow, read a little on make-up, read Xiaxue and Kimberly’s blogs, laughed at philosophical pick-up lines on Thought Catalog hahaha, and wrote this post. It’s 2.02am. The mix on 8tracks.com is now playing Serenade No. 10, 3rd movt. by Mozart. (Oh gosh how I miss playing the piano but I hadn’t touched it at all since I was home this time lol.) At 2.04am, I have a feeling 2013 will be a good year. My intuitions seldom go wrong :)

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