Dear Diary,

by zee

11.25pm, 15th April 2013. Frickin’ hot.

First day of the second half of the second semester. Weather is still hot, but not as hot as 2 weeks ago. Just got off the phone with mom, May 25th comes a wedding of a family friend! Like finally the handsome pilot is getting married! Haven’t seen him for years! Better get started with my diet plan *cough

Went for English at 9am for 2 hours, don’t remember what the lecturer talked about but I was listening quite intently. Formed a group for panel discussion with 3 other coursemates and a Chinese guy from Management school, decided on the topic on generation gap. He was quiet. Didn’t they notice him sitting outside of the circle and just listening quietly instead of participating? Must you just talk to people you know?

Later, went for my pharmacy classes for another 2 hours. I spent the second hour talking to my friend about orgasm and air ticket price to Shanghai and Guangzhou while catching up half-heartedly with sedative and hypnotic drugs. Had a really pepper-y lunch and then 2 Cloud 9s as my dessert (can’t help it).

Despite my sense of guilt, I skipped the next 3 hours of class. I decided to pay my fees and make a dental appointment for a too-late check-up. Arrived 10 minutes earlier than opening hours, so I studied on herbs for cardiac diseases under a cool wall fan. Empty Treasurer office means paying fees is a breeeeze.

Met the aforementioned Chinese guy with his girlfriend there, but didn’t had the chance to say ‘hi’ to him. At roughly 2.45 PM, I walked to the bus stop and, again, bumped into Chinese guy with his girlfriend. The way she speaks sounds Malaysian, hrmmm, so international love is possible. Being shy, I didn’t say hi to him, cuz the girl seemed to keep a watch at me -_- (or maybe I was being oversensitive). Eventually we did get to chat a while in Chinese (it came so naturally to him, and almost so for me), about why he went to the Treasurer’s office (to pay off a summon of RM 50 for parking vehicle in the hostel without permission), why he came to Malaysia to study. Speaking to him invokes pleasant memories of Beijing, though he’s from Xi’an. I forgot to ask him, if he’s got the chance and ample opportunities, what would he choose to study instead?

I told him I went to China before for an exchange, and he said it’s a good place (Dalian or Guizhou?), and then I had to drop off at another stop to print my notes. Bought a loaf of bread, chatted with the shop owner about the upcoming election. Reached my room at roughly 3.15PM maybe, and somehow surprised to know that my roommate did not skip class! After shower and chores at 4.05PM I had my daily procrastination on the Net, then proceeded to organising my notes which took a few hours until roughly 9PM.

Procrastination includes: checking out flight tickets to Egypt from mid to end of July 2013; visa to Egypt; a gossip couple in my course (“le girlfie” lolol and puh-leeze I really cannot stand public stickiness though I wonder there might be reasons to this dislike); looking through photos of a bf celebrating the gf’s birthday and hrmm; blog-hopping on

Music helps me to concentrate in my work, prevents me from wandering off. It also invokes emotions within me. Being neutral and emotionless at almost all times, music is a good escapade for me. My mood changes according to the music. I smile and hum along; or I stop whatever I am doing and think of nothing/something; or I experience mind orgasm and hit replay.

At one point I wanted to sing, but – having gorged down really dry foods before that – my throat didn’t allow that. So I could only hum in my mind. I thought of the times I used to sing spontaneously while walking on the road, or in classrooms, alone or with my best companions, at daytime or at night. It’s something I do when I feel calm and at peace – did that mean life and my internal world were tumultuous these few years? If so, how can I restore this peace?

The new earphones hurt my ear though, ear buds extending into the ear canal ouch, so I had to stop prematurely and proceed with my work in silence (with not-so-nice ambience sounds). Looking at the computer screen for 7-8 hours straight is straining my eyeballs but all that I had to do is on my laptop. Not fun.

Everyday was the same old bleakness of the same old people food thoughts. Can’t really identify what made me hmmm slightly happy everyday. So this is how adult working world feels like? Gee what a wonderful world. Something must’ve changed me from being happy to being meh, haven’t found a chance/way to reverse this in my current environment unless I’m alone.

Oh wait, talking to the Chinese guy makes me slightly happy today, don’t know why. And also chatting with Mr. E online, though I hate that it had to stop somewhere awkwardly and never continue (until the conversation picks up itself again tomorrow, perhaps). Didn’t think of looking for him when I was feeling lonely since a few hours ago though, don’t know why either.

Yes the Chinese guy is somewhat cute and yes he has that perfect body shape with T-shirt and light-washed jeans heee *shallow but no this is not a love story; nor is anything romantic blooming around.

12.08AM. Edited this entry once, then added a few things here and there. I should probably get back to work? Byebye.