Money / marriage / naivete

by zee

1. Went to my primary school alumni dinner because my friend has extra tickets. I didn’t know that being in the 董事会 (board of directors?) means you’re entitled to free VIP seats #naive

2. Strolling around empty school compound at night feels wonderful. Honestly speaking, I’ve forgotten much about my primary school life, except a few memorable scenes & figures. I was here a few years back, but I didn’t get to navigate around.

We used to think our school was so humongously huuuuuuge; that it seems to expand infinitely and beyond. Now, after a few steps I’ve already reached the other end of the compound. Gee, how much growing up changes our perspective of size.

The management has definitely done a great job in upgrading the school facilities and beautifying it (though the toilets still smell). Some things remain the same – the best essays & artworks displayed on the exhibition windows, news clippings of achievements etc. It was strange to see the dates, those times that I wasn’t present to witness all these happenings. (Replaced and not remembered? Life goes on?)

3. The space for playing catch is shrinking though. I mourn for you, kids. Though maybe it wasn’t a big deal for you, because you can always play Minion Rush on your tablets/smartphones.

4. My friend basically hasn’t changed much. I don’t remember her boyfriend/fiance being in our class #forgetful

Another friend of hers came as well, she was from a different class. She spoke fluent accentless (accented?) English, exuded pure confidence – none of the proper Chinese behaviours we were taught. (Can’t help comparing this with a recent event, where it seemed to be filled to the brim with prim & proper Chinese manners.) I wondered how much our primary education actually shape our beings?

5. I don’t think I will ever know the limits of the power of wealth. How much unjust is this causing to others?

6. Another thing that shocked (not the right word) me was how aware they are of their family’s wealth. I don’t mean that they are bragging. Perhaps what I’m trying to say here is, money was an abstract concept to me until I entered university, when slowly it imprints itself onto everything in life. Linking my friends with money is like, they are no longer innocent 7-years-old anymore. I’m sorry I always have trouble growing up -_-

Maybe it’s just my inferiority complex fml #lowselfconfidence

7. All these talk of marriage is annoying me to the core. I’m not really sure why, perhaps because I am afraid of such responsibility. How can one, still so young & playful & adventurous & so full of life, thinks of settling down? What runs across their minds when they buy the pair of rings? What images conjured up – happy sunshine smiles, beautiful house with white picket fence, 2 kids running around, husband walks to the front door and kisses his welcoming wife? #eh

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AH the head is throbbing. 2.05 am! I really shouldn’t be thinking too much -_-

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